I came back from a perfectly pleasant weekend in a family friend's house, but found myself continually annoyed by the endless pictures of hunting scenes. Driving the motorway to Dorset, I found this being composed in my mind, and I jotted it down when I returned, to post on my then-regular message board.
I still reckon it is alright, and it returned to my mind when this horrible article by Michael Henderson appeared in the Telegraph (surprise surprise). My Tory-parody says:
For education, public schools
drum into youth respect for Rules,
a love of England and of God
and Discipline – don't spare the rod!
A measured beating is the way
to teach young minds how not to stray.
In winter, rugger, in summer, cricket.
Sport makes a boy both fair and tough.
Standing firm on hostile wicket
Instils in man the sterner stuff.
Though as for soccer, I won't stick it.
The game's effete, its followers rough.
6 years later, Henderson chooses the emotion shown by Scouse football supporters towards the Rhys Jones killing as an excuse to trot out his views on how football makes people into yobs, and Rugby into hard-hitting but fair gentlemen. Beyond parody, clearly.
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- ▼ September (25)